3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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