I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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