i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She bit a glass in half.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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