drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
