Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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