do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
