so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
