Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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