Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
