Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
