Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Even my vagina gasped.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
