If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
