I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize