someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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