I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
