STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
