so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
