Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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