he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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