Kiss
Puke
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
