You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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