I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
