Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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