Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
