Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
