so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i think i just lost a toe
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
