Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
