Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
