Don't you send me to vm
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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