I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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