what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
