Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
