I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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