It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize