I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
