There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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