You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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