A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
