So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
