Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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