CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
