My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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