Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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