THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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