Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
