Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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