Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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