Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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