I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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