Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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