Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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