I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
