Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
