please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
