in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
