It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
