I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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