You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
