Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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