dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
