dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
