you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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