How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize