Define "chronic" masturbator.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
