So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
