I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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