i was born a porn star she said
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
