apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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