You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
