In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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