On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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