Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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